Mixed Emotions.

My Mom called yesterday to let me know that she was flying to Cordele, GA because my Grandmother was in the hospital again and at this point decisions have to be made.  Well, my Grandmother ended up having a heart attack yesterday, but my Mom didn't find out until today when she got into town.  Long story short, my Grandmother does not want to be resuscitated, or a feeding tube so basically it is just a matter of days before she passes.  I told my Mom to let me know if she needed me to come down and help her because it couldn't be more perfect timing... Bella is on Spring Break.  She needs me, so Bella and I will be headed down Sunday morning.  It's only a 6 hour drive, Bella has been dying to see her BB, and I can tell my Mom really needs some help with this one.  It feels good to be needed, and to actually be able to help out.

Once there, I will need to help my Mom pack up all my Grandmother's stuff from the assisted living place, and then decide what to do with it.  The hospital is taking care of Hospice arrangements, and my Mom was  going to a funeral home to make sure all was in order in that arena.

Here is where my mixed emotions come in... My Mom, and her Mother-in-law (my Grandmother) did not have the best of relationships.  My Grandmother was not nice to my Mom, so it's ironic that it's Mom who is left to take care of her.  My Grandmother did try to change her ways late in the game, for example, she paid my rent in college for my final year at Texas Tech, but it was all too little too late so to speak.  Now she is getting ready to die and I don't really feel anything.  I feel relief, but I feel it for all parties involved.  My Mom because she won't have to deal with it anymore, and my Grandmother because she will no longer be living a lonely/suffering filled/depressed life.  And I feel a little guilty because I don't feel much of anything else.

Hmmmm.