Unmotivated

Since Wednesday, I have not really been myself.  I haven't really been able to put my finger on it until this morning, but I will get to that in a second.  I haven't been depressed, but I have been completely unmotivated this week.  Let me explain that a little.  I have still been taking care of my family, the house, and all my stay-at-home Mom duties, but I have been ignoring my sewing machine like the plague.  I was unable to bring myself to the kitchen table to sit down and create.  Thankfully I don't have any orders due until next week...  I keep telling myself it is ok, and I have given myself off until Monday to try and clear my head so that I can have a fresh start next week.  In the mean time, I have been beating myself up over feeling this way, and for being unproductive when we need any extra money we can get right now, and if I don't sew, I don't have inventory to sell.  Vicious cycle.

Now back to my light bulb moment... After I dropped Bella off at school, I was headed to Vince's work because Bella's ballet shoes were in the back of his car and she has ballet today.  Anyway, a song came on the radio, and without even thinking I said out loud, "Hey Dad."  I really caught myself off guard to be honest.  So, I started to think back over the week and what not, and I realized that my Dad has been on my mind subtly all week here and there.  I was instantly relieved to realize I have been working through a little more of my grief probably since Bella's birthday.  I can remember thinking, wow, B-bo is 5 and my Dad is not here to enjoy it...

Now that I have figured things out, so to speak, I am already feeling a little better.  I'm sure the weather has also played a part in all of this since it has been nothing but awesome this winter.  If anything, it's FRIDAY and a fun weekend is just around the corner.  So for now, I will leave you with a picture of my favorite coffee mug.  It was given to me by my Mother-in-law after I told her that when she died one day, it was all that I wanted.  She gave it to me the next day so that I can enjoy it while she is still alive <3